So I think I made a lot of decisions that seemed to make sense to me at the time but now seem like some really selfish and bad decisions. Our life is reaching this point where, in front of us, there are several paths that lead to different directions. We are not sure where each path will lead us to but we kind of have an idea what we want to achieve in the longer term. There are voices that tell me to make a detour: this is time that you make amend - don't make the same mistake twice, you don't want the same regret twice. I face with the question about the priorities in my life right now. What are most important to me? Family, career, life I want to pursue, or truth?
Someone said to me today:
You make many decisions in life. You make those decisions for a certain goal. You are heading towards the right direction - you want to have a happy life. Yes, some of these are good decisions and sometimes you make some not so good decisions, but don't blame yourself when you make the wrong decision. Remember that you are only a human being and this is the only way you learn, by constantly learning so you don't make the wrong decision twice.
Also, we tend to do what's best for our relationships, and forget to do what makes ourselves happy.
Or what's right.
There are a lot to think about.
I'm quite pleased with our film choice at TIFF this year. We got some of our first choices like the First Grader and the Cave of Forgotten Dreams, and I was less of a risk-taker this year to choose films basing only on its name. We saw 2 over the weekend and they were both based in Africa, though very different in theme and nature. The first one we saw was "State of Violence" by Khalo Matabane. It was a film about Bobedi, a CEO of a mining company, whose wife was murdered and as he seek revenge he came to face with his darkest secret, his family, and his demon. I feel like the film, while has some nice moments, never went deep enough to explore the demon in Bobedi, his past, and his relationship with his family. It almost felt like a great idea wasted. I am actually quite surprised as the director has directed several films about South African issues previously.
The second film we saw was the First Grader by Justin Chadwick. It was based on the true story of Maruge, a 84 year old Mau Mau (Kenya) veteran who showed up at the door of teacher Jane's school when the government announced free primary education. I think the film has got many of Slumdog Millionaire's quality, i.e. sad past and resilient hero, although the plot was more simple and the performance delivered was much more profound and genuine. In the Q & A after the screening, we learned that the crew of about 7 people went to this village school in the middle of nowhere, and shot this film with actual students that go to that school. Most of the actors and actresses were sourced locally in Kenya. The kids regard the director and the actress Naomie Harris, who plays the teacher, as teacher Justin and teacher Jane, and the crew (the director most specifically) stayed at the village to get to know the people and the place, and their understanding of this part of their history addressed in the film (which was very minimal. This film, while not perfect (some say the plot is kind of bland), has strived in its profound portrayal of Maruge's emotion through his soulful eyes and smiles and his friendship with teacher Jane through the stunning performance by Oliver Litondo and Naomie Harris. It was definitely one of the best films I've ever seen at TIFF.
Being a photographer is more that knowing how to take photos with your DSLR though. This much I've learned. As someone who is too careless/carefree with her camera, and an "assistant" to the boyfriend who has a passion for his 50D, I decided to learn photo editing. By learn of course I mean self-learn.This is my first more serious photo editing project. I never learned to edit photos with Photoshop and the most "professional" thing I have done is to run an Action someone has so kindly written and share online for free to make it look antique-y, faded, or stylishly b/w. This time I'm making use of the Lightroom 3 we just got to do some touch up on photos Yves took at our friends' wedding. I learn new tricks that come with LR3 as I go, such as the very useful local touch up functions. Now I can't wait to go back and edit all the photos I took in the Galapagos. First thing first though, I wish to finish all the wedding photos this weekend so I can share them with friends.