We went to Riverdale farm today for the first time. Not sure why we never came here when we lived in the neighborhood. The farm is right in downtown next to a busy highway, but once you are in there you'd forget that you are in toronto. Parents bring their kids here to see the animals, the see the real sheep, pigs, chicken, horse. There are spots for picnic, baseball, organic vegetables, farmer's market. New born sheep were munching fresh grass in the afternoon sun. It is a place where I'd even try to save a green catapillar from the bathroom floor and take it back to the bush where it still has a chance to become a butterfly.
How I wish I could show you that happiness is right there if you just choose to see.
Before he left he wrote me a message that says "Have fun the next few days." I was very upset when I saw the message. How do I "have fun" while there's no one, nothing to distract me from thinking in my head? How dared he say this to me when you know I'll be facing mother's day on my own?
Things don't always happen as planned. The dark morning sky told me that it's not a good day to ride the scooter. On my way to the subway station I saw that it's blood donation day in the mall downstairs. It's just right to give blood for mother's day. I booked my time and went quickly to Le Gourmand to have a quick lunch. The greens with goat cheese, walnut and honey and scone were delicious, as was the coffee. At 3pm, I went back to the mall, went through the procedures, and was soon on my back with a needle in my vein. The volunteer was really nice and kept telling me that my blood was flowing fine. Last time I gave blood it wasn't as smooth. It took like 15 minutes because my blood was too thick. This time round I drank lots of water and ate more than I normally would.
The sun came out afterward. Since our K plan got canceled I went to Queen street on the scooter. tried on some jeans and dresses, bought a few things, had some fun in the beautiful fitting room of Urbanoutfitters.
Look at the lovely wall paper! This dress is really cute, but bikers don't wear dresses so I went for a pair of cigarette jeans and a skirt from American Apparel.
Someone forgot to help me fill up the tank so I had to pump my first tank of gas in my life. It was hard to look cool when the cap just won't close in properly but I managed.
Alone or not alone, this day will always have a different meaning to me. Everyday, every moment, she's always in my mind. No redemption, no hatre, no fear, only love.
I hope to see your smile in my dream tonight.