The society applies this standard on you. A standard which tells you whether you are successful or not, whether you make enough money, whether you are good or bad, chubby or skinny, handsome or ugly. I remember in my previous society I was not bright at all and no one would expect me to make a lot of money. My family still think they should give me money because I am finally on my own and don't make enough to support my living. And then I worked in this environment where everyone is so positive about everything. Like they'd say "you're amazing to turn this around so quickly" or "Quincin did her magic again and fixed this big problem!"

New manager gave my performance a "B" while I gave my performance an "A" - how embarrassing is it to give yourself a mark that's a knot higher that what your boss gives you? To her standard, A is like perfect, no mistakes, above and beyond her high expectation. To me, I graded myself based on last year's review with my old manager, who thought I was above and beyond. Now I am confused because I don't know my value to the company anymore and HR is going to think that I slacked off this year.

Then sometimes I am surprise at how at interview someone would say she has strong, say, Excel skill (and they truly think so) but turn out they can't even do a simple formula. While most of the time I'm worried that if I tell people I know SQL they might think of me the same way once they see me working on it. Perhaps being too modest at interviews do you no good at all, but being over-confident can give people the impression of arrogance. So where is the balance? How do I know if I'm good or not?

We need to learn to develop an understand of our own skills and a confidence in our own strengths. Set our own standard and continue to learn and improve at our own comfortable pace. I think belief in yourself, not negativity, is what makes you a better person. Life is beautiful and short and it's not worth it to try to fit in by constantly trying to reach other's standard.


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